Privacy... Oh how I miss you!

      I love, love, love being a mom but sometimes I wished someone had prepared me a little more for the complete lack of privacy.  It's one of those things they forget to mention in all those pregnancy books that are supposed to prepare you for motherhood.  At least a heads up from some of the mothers out there would have been appreciated.   A little warning perhaps, so you can mentally prepare yourself for say the next....oh right, rest of your life of never, ever, ever having a private moment to yourself again. 

     It really starts before the baby is born.  Plenty of doctors appointments where you are poked, prodded and asked to undress, pee in a cup and have your belly man handled and measured on a frequent basis.  Its all for the health of you and your precious unborn baby, so its all worth it but it's annoying none the less.
     
     The whole birthing process is amazing, but during which any shred of privacy you have managed to  maintain up until this point will be completely gone.  By the time the baby has made its grand entrance, everyone in the entire world has seen your bits or at least it feels like this and you know what you really don't care anymore.  You just pushed out a the most beautiful human being out of your own body and you are a freaking super hero.  You really don't care who saw what and don't worry your privacy will be invaded a 1000 more times before you leave the hospital. They check you a billion times to make sure you are healing, that the little monster that just split you end to end is latching properly. The good news is that if it would have embarrassed you before you were a mom, it doesn't bother you now.

     Once you have a child or children be prepared to never again pee or shower in peace, EVER! Once they are old enough to not follow you everywhere, don't worry they still will. If you ignore them they will just talk louder through the door, shove stuff under the door or bang on the door so much that you may as well just left it open. If you haven't become a mom yet, savour every long shower and pee break like its your last because before you know it you won't have time to do either and if by some miracle you get a chance, most likely you will be toting a baby with you.

    As a parent you may as well forget ever having a private conversation as well.  I would truly love to have a conversation with anyone really that I don't have to worry about it being repeated by a toddler or told to a teacher at school. Like the day I told Ella that its too  darn bad that the teacher wants you to take a litter less lunch on your field trip because I don't care what your teacher says you are getting what you get.  Mommy doesn't have time to take out all your food and repack it.  I have a hungry newborn and a sick toddler, be thankful you are getting food at all. Yep, first thing she told her teacher when she got to school that day.  I didn't even feel bad though, after all I did have a newborn less than 2 weeks old and a sick toddler who was in and out of the ER 3-4 times that week. 


     Oh and bedroom privacy which is non existent since toddlers don't knock and don't care whether you are changing and have company over which you would prefer not see you naked.  They don't care if they interrupt your alone time with Daddy even though they are supposed to be sleeping but can't because they like Mommy's bed better.  Camden shared our bed for the first 2 years of his life, I am amazed we actually had another baby.

     I almost forgot that there is also phone calls, mail, email - all listened in to, then questioned about - who, why, where what, when and how, opened and read before you get a chance, checked without your knowledge same with facebook.  Smart 6 year olds are sometimes a curse and have the ability to make you feel like the child.

      So let me give you this gentle reminder as a sort of duty, to all people who have yet to have children.  Not to scare you off because truly you would be missing out on the best thing life has to offer but more as a reminder to enjoy every private moment, telephone conversation, letter, potty break and shower.  Once these little monsters blessings enter your life it will be a very long time until privacy is restored.  Enjoy it well you still can, trust me, you will look back fondly on the times you could pee alone with out a toddler trying to help you wipe.