The Waiting Game

     Lately, it feels like we are stuck in a holding pattern, always waiting for something. Waiting until Camden sleeps through the night, for the kids to get over their colds, for my birthday, the next step in Mike's divorce papers and the worst, to say Goodbye to a loved one.

      I am not a great "waiter".  I am impatient and Mike will be the first one to tell you this. I can't even wait until I get home to break into my drive-thru bag.  I generally want it now! The only place I have true patience, is with the kids and lately even that is wearing thin.  I guess maybe I am just worn out in general, although after last nights 8 hours of sleep I do feel much better ( Before you all start cheering Camden spent another night at Mike's Parents so I could sleep, but Harmony only woke up once so I guess go ahead and cheer).

     I often find myself saying "I can't wait until...Harmony can fit into...Camden can ...Ella will..." It always makes me feel sad afterwards though, like I am rushing time, which when it pertains to the kids I wish would just slow down. Then there are times, like now when the waiting is an unbearable torture of sorts. Waiting to say goodbye to someone you know and love and your family loves. You don't want them to go because it hurts your heart to think of life with out them here but watching them suffer hurts worse.  So you hold their hand, smile and pray for a peacefulness and all the while waiting...  

    Waiting does cultivate patience and I guess that is what I am learning. To be more patient. To relax, take life as it comes.  Mikes divorce will happen SOMETIME and soon after we will get married. To stop rushing the kids.  Camden will potty train when he wants to why rush him being a baby, I doubt he will stay in diapers forever.  Its not going to hurt anyone for a few more weeks (maybe my mommy ego because I am not super mom that trained their 1 year old but I'm tough my ego can take it and sancta-mommies can shove it).  We can get so wrapped up in the "waiting game" that we forget to live in the here and now. So I am trying to be more patient, live life as it comes and relax.  What is life trying to teach you this week?