The battle now starts the night before school with the question, "Do I have school tomorrow?" . If the answer is yes a full blown panic attack ensues. Have you ever witnessed a 4 year old panicking? It's heartbreaking. I can't take it. It makes me feel like the world's worst mother. I mean the kid is 4, a babe really. He still mixes up words and sleeps with a bed full of stuffies, ummm when he isn't sleeping wedged between Daddy, Harmony, and Mommy in our much too small queen size bed. The mommy guilt is unbearable.
I find myself conflicted and asking myself a million and one questions. Is it worth it? Is Junior Kindergarten worth making him hate school forever? If he hates school already, how am I going to get him out the door everyday for the next 18 years or more? What if he just is not ready yet? Should I force him and put on my mean mommy face? If I pull him this year will I give him the message that quitting is OK? What if it validates his feelings and he learns there are other ways to learn? Can I manage homeschooling him with 4? Can I keep him adequately socialized at home? Will he be the weird kid when he integrates back to school at some point? Ugh, so many questions without any answers.
Right now we manage to force him to go once a week. The school promised he would love it by January (well the teachers not the actual building, if the actual school spoke I bet he would love it there). He doesn't and in fact goes less then he did before Christmas. We've promised him that we would explore the Home School option. Bah, My head hurts from thinking about it and my heart is broken every day I force him sobbing on the bus. What to do? What to do? Well if it were solely up to me I would keep him home forever and ever because he is my baby boy and I love him fiercely. I also know as a parent it is my job to prepare him for life but isn't 4 just a little young to be leaving the nest?
Well this busy mama is going to go ponder those questions while cuddling my little ones and perhaps baking. I would love to hear from others on the issue though. Questions, comments, concerns and advice all welcome and in fact encouraged. I can't wait to hear what others have to say on the issue.
Homeschool! And for what it's worth, as you likely already know, you needn't send him at 4, for jk, anyway. He's not ready. Why force the issue and risk having him hate the experience entirely? I forced my then-4-year-old to classes at the Y he wasn't ready for and it's only know, 2 years later, that he's comfortable.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many advantages to homeschooling and of course, to sending the kids out to school. But each family and child is unique so my experience of course won't be the same as yours, ditto the kids etc.
I have little faith in Ontario's curriculum. Very little. We have an excellent collection of materials, and follow a curriculum, and things ultimately go very well and my son is happy in his home-learning experience.
The usual hot button is the "socialization" one. People will discuss that long before they even ask if you have materials or a curriculum. They all blab about "socialization". Well of course, your little guy's socialized. Last I checked, he plays, has family and friends. You aren't keeping him under the kitchen sink. It's a BS reactive hot topic which is stupid.
Go with your heart, and prepare yourself either way. If you're homeschooling, tackle it. It's an enormous responsibility and when done right, tremendously rewarding for all involved. I never regret it.
Yeah, I made typos... now the non-homeschool peeps will enjoy reaming me for that. hahahaa.
ReplyDeleteRegarding socialization for home schooled kids, my cousins were home schooled. For one of them I would say it was fine. He was always a social guy and seems to have adjusted great as an adult The other one is a bit more shy and I think she struggles in social situations more than she might because she didn't get much social interaction outside her family as a kid. (not throwing hate at homeschooling, just saying what I observed) Now that her family has moved away, she struggles to interact. Maybe she doesn't care about it though. :) I guess lessons from this would be if Camden is social now and likes talking to other kids it shouldn't be an issue to home school.
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