The Perfect Parent

     How Many times have you ever said, "Oh, My kid would NEVER do that" and how many times has Karma, divine intervention or whatever you happen to believe in, has come right back to bite you in the butt. Never, you say, then you are either not a parent or a big fat liar.  I was in fact the "Perfect Parent" before I had kids.   I have learned as a parent or just as a person in general to Never say Never, you don't know what the future holds.

     Here are some of my favourites, that I personally have regretted saying:

• My kids will never, ever share my bed  - Camden spent the first 2.5 years of his life there out of sheer desperation on my part and the fact that I was less likely to drop him off on someones doorstep  anonymously if I had at least a few minutes sleep here and there.

• I will never let myself "go" after I have kids. - Yep, OK because showering every 3rd day is totally acceptable, along with PJ's stained with breast milk , overgrown eyebrows and legs so hairy they could be confused with a yeti's . I am happy to report after 5 months I am somewhat starting to care about myself again.

• My kids will behave in public and know who is boss. -Oh, they know alright...and it's not me and public tantrums are at an all time low, mainly because we hardly venture out in public anymore, its easier to control the chaos at home, in their native habitat.

• I will never bribe my children. - Bribery is a necessary parenting tool, I don't care what anyone says we have all done it and do it.  If your child behaves, is toilet trained, eats dinner, behaves, goes to bed, cleans up or behaves you most likely have bribed them.  Sometimes the treat, sticker, pennies are easier than dealing with a full on melt down in the middle of church, crowded doctors office, the middle of the mall etc.

• My kid will not have sugar (juice, pop, candy, cookies etc).   - Definitely, as long as we lived in a cave somewhere I am sure we could have managed that one.  Moderation is key.

• I will not drive my child around in the car at 2 am to get them to sleep.  - Camden, Colic, Chronic Ear Infections...'nuff said.

     Being perfect is over rated anyway! Sometimes to be the perfect parent you have to realize you are in fact imperfect, which makes us better.  I strive everyday to be just a little better than I was the day before, a little more patient, a little more strict about somethings, a little more lenient about others, a little more understanding and a better parent, but never will I strive to be perfect.  What works for you, doesn't always work for someone else, or even work for you later on. 

     What are somethings you said you would NEVER EVER do when you were a parent?  I am curious.  I can't be the only one that my pre-baby parenting beliefs have come back to haunt them. The perfect parent pffffffft.  Its a myth.  There is no such thing.