Say A Little Prayer - Update on Mom

     Today if it's not too much to ask, I ask you to say a prayer for my mom. I know some of you don't pray, so do whatever it is you do instead. If you could send your good thoughts, meditations, positive vibes, and healing wishes we will take those too.  I know my family and my mom would appreciate it.

     A couple of years ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were positive and mom went through radiation like a champ. That was that. She rang that gong at the cancer clinic with pride while I stood by her side and cried like a baby . I was happy to know that terrible "C" word was out of our lives and I had more time with my mom. 

      We had a few months of peace or maybe a little more ( my timelines may be slightly skewed as life with 4 little ones causes you to misremember things, baby brain if you will).  The cancer came back or rather a new type of breast cancer. The first type was slow moving this time it was a little more aggressive.  As suggested by the surgeon she had a bilateral mastectomy ( removal of both breasts). She rocked that surgery! I mean she didn't even take any pain meds after. It soon became apparent that something wasn't right. The side that had previously undergone radiation was not healing. I'll give you the short version but basically mistakes were made or not recognized and my mom was full of infection. Four months later and we still have an open wound that has finally started to scab over. It's finally healing well but it's been months of home care, surgeons appointments, an emergency surgery to get it under control as well as a secondary infection that was picked up in the hospital. 

    On Christmas Eve, we noticed mom was a bit off. She was confused. By Christmas morning 4 am she was in the hospital.  After rounds of blood work, she was released but getting worse mentally. She required constant supervision. Mid January she was admitted to a hospital 40 minutes away to a geriatric psychiatric wing to get her back on track as my mom does have a history of Bi Polar which is easily controlled by medication. The hospital was horrid. They refused to share information with my dad who is her  next of kin and is responsible for all medical decisions (power of attorney). The whole 6 weeks was a waste of time. They did absolutely nothing for my mom. Fast forward to a few weekends ago. My dad went up for his usual visit and at the end they let him know she was being transferred to our hometown hospital. No reason, no notice. They said she was fine  but needed medical/nursing care nothing mental health wise. That I can assure you was a flat out lie. They needed the bed. Moms own doctor wasn't even notified. They just dumped her. I have spent hours with my mom caring for her with the rest of my family which I do happily because I love her. As the days pass on it's getting harder and harder to see the person my mom once was but I know she's in there somewhere. Every once in awhile I'll say something that moms doesn't like and she lets me know, just like her old self. Its rare to see her smile and the good days are few and far between.  Over the coming days and weeks as we await test results and formulate a plan, please keep mom in your thoughts and prayers.

     I miss my mom.  Yes I see her every day but its not her. My mom is full of life, quick with a joke, a twinkle in her eye and doesn't miss a thing. She danced every weekend, loved to get a hold of the grand kids, bake and cook up a storm.  My mom never left the house without her hair done, lipstick on and heels to match every outfit. My mom should be soaking up the sun in Florida not scared in a hospital room for months. We should be planning the kids birthday parties together and discussing Easter plans.  I just miss her.  Her daily phone calls or visits to check in and see what we are up to. I miss her coming over for supper or to help  me bake or for a tea.  I miss everything. My mom is my best friend, my cheerleader, my confidant.  We know what each other is thinking without a word.  Without sounding lame (which I probably already do with the whole my mom is one of my best friends thing) we are kindred spirits. So if you can find a minute on this dreadfully snowy day, please send a prayer, a plea, a good thought or wish, healing vibes and all that jazz her way, we would sincerely appreciate it.

I'm the toddler on Mom's lap.